Put Your Oxygen Mask On First
How to Prioritise Your Own Self Care When Looking After a Child with Disability
Caring for a child with a disability can be one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences in life. Parents often juggle therapy schedules, appointments, NDIS plans, school meetings, and daily care needs, all while trying to hold the rest of life together.
It’s no surprise that so many parents end up feeling exhausted, stretched thin, or disconnected from themselves. But here’s the truth: your wellbeing matters just as much as your child’s. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and your ability to show up for your child depends on having space to rest, recharge, and feel supported yourself.
Self care looks different for every parent.
For some, it’s straight to the spa with friends for a massage. For others it might be alone time with a bath and a book or going for a walk in nature. For some parents, self care might simply mean sitting in the car for five quiet minutes before heading inside, or saying yes when someone offers to help. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. What matters most is finding moments that help you breathe again and remind you that you exist beyond your caring role.
Why self care isn’t selfish
It can be easy to feel guilty for taking time for yourself, especially when your child’s needs are front and centre. But self care isn’t indulgent. It’s essential. Just like your child benefits from consistent therapy and support, you need your own version of care to stay well enough to keep doing what you do.
When you look after yourself, your whole family benefits. You’ll have more patience, more energy, and a calmer nervous system which helps create a more peaceful home environment. And models to your children so they one day will grow into adults who also take care of themselves and prioritise their needs to grow into healthy adults.
Start small and keep it real
If you’re not sure where to begin, start small. Think of self care as creating pockets of calm in your week.
Try:
Drinking your coffee outside before the day starts
Listening to a podcast that lifts your mood
Scheduling your own medical or therapy appointments first
Taking a slow walk without a destination
Saying no to more social events or obligation requests without any guilt or providing a reason
Asking a friend or family member for help with one task
Scheduling time into your calendar for “rest” or “space” and protecting it fiercely
Little moments add up. You don’t have to totally overhaul your life to feel better. Just begin where you are and build healthy self care habits bit by bit.
Start with becoming aware
If you’re just starting to learn about self care you might feel disconnected from what you need and want. So just start noticing how things make you feel. Do social occasions or phonecalls with friends leave you feeling recharged or drained? Does time in nature make you feel brilliant or uncomfortable?
Build your support crew
Parenting a child with a disability can sometimes feel isolating, but you’re not alone. Building a support network can make an enormous difference. Reach out to other parents, community groups, or professionals who understand what you’re going through. Sharing experiences and resources helps lighten the load and gives you space to recharge.
If you’re feeling burnt out or overwhelmed, speak with your GP or an allied health professional. At Tandem Allied Health, we work alongside families to make daily life easier. Not just for your child, but for everyone involved. Sometimes small adjustments or new strategies can help create more balance at home.
Getting comfortable with receiving
When you’re caring for someone with a disability you might not be able to do it all alone. If you are, and you’re thriving, amazing. But if you’re feeling fatigued and know your mental or physical health is being affected by your daily responsibilities it’s important to seek and secure the right support so you can feel well and healthy. If asking for help makes you feel uncomfortable, talking this through with a professional could help.
A final reminder
You’re doing an incredible job. The love, commitment, and resilience you show every day don’t go unnoticed. Remember that your wellbeing is not optional. It’s the foundation that allows you to keep showing up for the people you love. Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of them.
